My neighbourhood hero, Mike Stuber, has added me to his blog links...
*single tear*
The man who graced the world with his heroic insight: "Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it?" I'm so grateful for this honour and privilege.... but mostly I'm f-ing awesome. Yes, that is the conclusion, I rule all the B-tches.
Do I need to monitor my own profanity on this site? I don't know... Mike, help me out here buddy.
Anyways, back to my awesomeness... You see kids, the basic premise here... is what is known as an "inside joke". My friend Rachel and I have this agreement, or "inside joke", between us about being awesome. The fundamental concept is perhaps quite obvious to some, and that is the fact that we, ourseleves, do not think that we are awesome. And in there lies the gest! We go on to portray to others that we are, infact, awesome! What a contrary folly!
Have I lost anyone yet?
So that is why I don't actually seem conceited when I say how awesome I am! So check me out, I'm all sorts of amazing!
I like punk/rock/metal/alternative music, basically anything that isn't country. I probably have more tattoos than your favorite guitarist, but I'm not as flashy about it. I find horror movies absolutley hilarious to the point of being slightly sadistic. I think Kung Fu movies make for an excellent Saturday afternoon. I love UFC, but have no idea what the hell is going on in any other sport. I'll pick you up at 3:30 am to drive your drunk ass to your boyfriend's house, even if I am half-asleep and in my pajamas when you get into the vehicle. I like video games, computer games and board games. I like to make fun of annoying b-tches. I have fishes named Reginald and Movis. And no, those names didn't come from anywhere, I just made that sh-t up. I'm in my last year of Pharmacy, so I'll actually make money sometime in the near future. I drink more coffee than Tweak from South Park. I actually watch South Park. I swear more than a trucker who lost his flask of gin. Your grandparents will think I'm awesome too... old people f-ing LOVE me. I both understand the concept of hygiene and put it to use. I will always be more neurotic than you, and I'm ok with that. I have sisters who are nice, even if I'm not. Apparently they are hot too. I have a kick ass CD collection. I have a record player. I actually use my record player. I wore a pink shirt one time. I can knit. I knew how to knit long before it became popular because of Grey's Anatomy. Batman kicks ass.
Ok, that last one wasn't about me, but
Damn, I'm that good.
*author note: I have a tendancy to not make any f-ing sense at times... and you'll never get that 30 seconds of life back. Ha!
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1 comment:
A) That post took me almost a full minute to read, not the 30 suggested seconds. Granted I'm partially illiterate, but whatev, I'm the standard, you're the freak.
B) You can motherfucking swear as much as you motherfucking want on here. Damn bitch tits cunt ass shit fuck... you get the point.
C) It was 3:30 am? Really? I thought it was a more ungodly hour, thanks again buddy.
D) Batman only kicks ass cause of his lover/sidekick Robin. Yes they are gay and to those of you who think that being gay makes him less of a superhero, fuck you. He can be a great superhero and still like giving fellatio.
E) It's my new resolution to work fellatio into everything I type.
F) See you at school, pal.
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